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    The Spirit of Kinsale.

    She got in a spot of bother today near Charlesfort and the Courtmacsherry lifeboat had to rescue thirty people off it and bring them to shore. They towed the Spirit of Kinsale back to the dock as well, she'll be getting a good service before she's allowed carry passengers again.
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    Bank of Ireland problem.

    A lot of people who should have had their wages paid into Bank of Ireland this morning are going to be disappointed. Nothing worse than doing work and not getting paid for it.
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    Stolen dogs recovered.

    A number of dogs that were stolen from Kennedys Pet Farm outside Killarney last Saturday have been recovered in the Bandon area and reunited with their owners. The dogs included puppies as young as 3 and a half weeks which were not expected to survive without the mother who the thieves had left...
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    F.A.O. Budward.

    A couple of swimmers got in trouble on Inch Strand this evening, they were rescued and are in a serious/critical condition in hospital at the moment.
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    Five die on Mount Blanc.

    Five bodies have been recovered this morning and a sixth person is missing after another disaster on Mount Blanc. I have no links, no nothing, so look it up and link it someone else.
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    Irishman arrested in Spain.

    A 39 year old man was arrested in Spain after he was found locked out of his hotel room with a suitcase full of cocaine. It is alleged he had earlier thrown a similar suitcase full of cocaine out of his hotel window onto an internal patio 8 floors below, a hotel employee alerted the police to...
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    Gabriel Byrne gets married in Cork.

    Gabriel Byrne married his long term partner Hannah Beth King at a secret ceremony in Ballymaloe House on Monday. Congratulations to the pair of them from Pattie O Slabs.
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    Shooting in Cork pub.

    A 35 year old man was injured in a shooting incident in a pub at Banteer over the weekend. He was singled out by the gunman and shot in the neck. By a pellet gun. He refused the offer of an ambulance and got a taxi home instead.
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    Pipe bomb handed into Garda Station.

    A pipe bomb was handed into Togher Garda Station this morning. The Army Bomb Disposal Unit are on the way to deal with it.
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    Goatz, the angry man.

    He's very angry lately.
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    Anyone lose a leg recently?

    Great news for you buddy, it's been found in Dublin. In a big bin in Ballyfermot.
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    What's the easiest way to get to Redbarn?

    From the northside.
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    Flying Ants.

    I was strimming there earlier today and I'm after causing about ten million flying ants to vacate their abode and the fucking things are everywhere outside. There's about two million on the roof of her car for some strange reason and none on my vehicle, they must be very snobby. The grass...
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    Postage stamps rise to 68 cent on Monday.

    It's a slow news day. A handy enough jump though, I wonder how long would one get away with using the 60 cents stamp, what about people that have bought a few to have handy. I'll have to start writing like mad I'd say.
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    Sound bah.
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    I'd say you're in a very small minority of people who thinks he was being serious. You're probably the only person on the planet tbpfhwy.
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    Oh deary me oh my.
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    How dare you speak about Pawdraig like that.
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    The worst type of cyclist is the fucking skinny fucker that arrives into a village bar with his loud lycra gear and his even louder cycling shoes that announce his arrival by being pounded off the flooring like a cross between Micheal fucking Flatley and a ten year old with his first pair of...
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    2 Bodies discovered on island on Lough Sheelin.

    Probably the two Dublin lads that went missing last month.