The Gentrification of Langer?

A Christmas present to Cork? This is the proposed new entry in the Collins English Dictionary announced just last week.

Fair play to Mr. Collins and his well researched dictionary but there’s a few points we’d like to make regarding the entry of this extremely important word to the English language.

Firstly its not an Irish noun at all. It’s a Cork one. Those tags are mutually exclusive. Secondly, some background. The word langer originates from the Munster Fusiliers, a regiment of the British Army consisting largely of impoverished Corkonians who were sent in the late 19th century to defend British interests in Eastern India.

Often plauged by the Langur Monkey in the jungles the fusiliers used the word ‘langur’ to refer to people they despised when they returned. The wild untamable behaviour of the jungle monkeys was often compared to those monkeys emerging from the pubs of Cork at closing time and also received the name “langur”.

Although the regiment was disbanded in 1922, ‘langer’ has remained solely a Cork word until this recently.

The popularity of Irish radio station Today FM’s morning comic sketches ‘Gift Grub’ have been instrumental in bringing the word to the attention of the Irish public. The frighteningly accurate Roy Keane impersonations and the launch of fictitious radio station Radio Roy allowed the show’s producers to introduce another character: Roy’s brother Johnson Keane.

Although most of us have no idea how the real Johnson Keane actually speaks Today FM had a native Corkman already on their books to do the voice. Regularly phoning Radio Roy to urge his brother to get of the air to save the family’s embarrassment back in Cork Jay’s last words in a strong Cork accent were always “Roy..you’re some LANGER!”.

The ferocity and hilarity of Jay’s attacks on his younger brother as well as Ireland’s perplexed amusement with his new Cork word drove its popularity skyward. To second that the thought of somebody talking down to Roy Keane was enough to keep many commuters stuck in traffic tuned in!

Such was the popularity of Jay’s Corkonian tones that he established a new station Radio Jay which set up various opportunities for him to say the word ‘langer’ and slag his footballing brother aka ‘the Tool’.

Partly responsible: Mario Rosenstock from Irish radio station Today FM

Today FM wasn’t the only source however. As well as cheeky new t-shirts with the word proudly plastered across the chest appearing around Cork, comedian Des Bishop appeared in the hugely popular show “The Des Bishop Work Experience” proudly wearing one. If langer was a brand name it would have been up there with coca-cola and Harvey Norman such was the amount of airtime it received.

Speaking of which, now capitalising on the renewed popularity and desensitising of the word Tim O’Riordan and his band of merry musicians Natural Gas managed to capitalize on the word’s new found national popularity when he released ‘The Langer Song’. Nailing itself to the number one slot in the Irish charts for over three weeks the Langer Song managed to knock Euro-disaster contestant Chris Doran’s tragic Louis-Walsh-endorsed song off the top spot. It was worth it for that alone.

We expressed some concern about the rising popularity and desensitizing of the word itself. Langer was losing its bite fast and O’Riordan promptly acknowledged – no longer could you call someone a langer in the pub and get a full scale brawl started. Instead you’d get a laugh and he might even buy you a drink. Terrible stuff altogether.

Remember this is the word that once spat venom comparable to mocking the recently deceased mother of an Italian mafia boss to his face. Boom!

It is sickening to think that smallies can now get away with using the word without their parents flinching, knowing full well that the word has become jovial in the last 18 months.

The older generation is however struggling to come to terms with its popularity.
Remember in your day as a child if you used the word? You’d get a ferocious clatter and there’d be talk of sending you to boarding school to have your unruly behaviour problems addressed. Shame would be cast upon a family whose children uttered the obscenity.

Natural Gas: Knocked Louis Walsh endorsed Euro-failure Chris Doran off the number one slot. Daycint.

How we would have loved to use the excuse:
”Mam, sure the feen on the radio was sayin’ it this mornin’ like!”

In Cork, calling your boss a langer would mean an automatic p45 and any sportsman calling a Cork referee a langer would probably cause a game to be postponed such was the seriousness of the insult.

With the sudden injection of this odd new word into the Irish Republic’s vocabulary the population began to use it openly. Suddenly gombeens like Dublin 4 rugby jocks started to use it. Male horse play is popular among rugby players when “on the beer” and the word langer became perfect for playful insults that cause little or no anger to the recipient. Scallywag, fool or eejit were now on a par with “langer” downgraded from unacceptable obscene insult to the level of a passing negative remark.

Such is the rapid growing popularity of the word that we may see the word appear in medical journals soon. All over the world doctors learning to speak English will be taught the word and will refer to it in high level meetings with surgeons and patients.

Although we obviously have no need for it in Cork the opportunities for cosmetic surgeons to advertise Langer Enhancement Surgery will look tempting. Words that are down with the young people always find their way into the pseudo cool vocabularies of starched suited marketing executives. Will it come to the stage that instead of politicians in Dáil Éireann referring to each other as “grossly misleading” or “away with the fairies” people like Pat Rabbitte known for his colourful painting of members of cabinet will start to use words like Langer without the Ceann Comhairle ringing his bell and repeating ‘Deputy!’ over and over again. Where is it all going? Next thing they’ll be getting away with it in newspaper columns…