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  #711  
Old 28-10-2014, 10:42 PM
Happyhonkaman Happyhonkaman is online now
 
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Originally Posted by kevinbitzz View Post
They had 2 or 3 other extracts over the past few days, same stuff, yada yada yada, I'm not racist, I'm sorry for biting, i love my family, yada yada yada
Surely there was some stuff about growing up hard on the streets of Montevideo?
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  #712  
Old 29-10-2014, 07:37 AM
Jinky Jinky is offline
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It was a normal day in the Favela. All us kids headed to the chompafella to play futbal. We didn't usually have a ball so Niginho, my black friend, would chase down a rabid dog and snap its jugular with his mouth. Quite a skill. Unfortunately for us, Niginho had twisted his ankle the day before so there was to be no futbal. Aye aye aye. My friends all left for home to pick up their guns and drugs , or play Xbox, because if we didn't have futbal then we had nothing. Thinking on my feet, I began to howl. Soon, the chompafella was filled with stray dogs. So off I took.

The dogs scattered. I scanned the chompafella and spotted my target. I chased and chased him until I cornered him and sank my teeth into the back of his neck. My friends came around the corner as I was face deep in entrails and the way they backed off in horror seemed to say 'Gracie Luis'. They all left for home and we never got to play futbal but I learned a valuable lesson that day. Firstly, It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's more to do with the size of its stomach. Secondly, Niginho had been lying about where he sourced his footballs. Dog's stomachs don't have 'World Cup' printed on them. You live and you learn.
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  #713  
Old 29-10-2014, 08:50 AM
Happyhonkaman Happyhonkaman is online now
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jinky View Post
It was a normal day in the Favela. All us kids headed to the chompafella to play futbal. We didn't usually have a ball so Niginho, my black friend, would chase down a rabid dog and snap its jugular with his mouth. Quite a skill. Unfortunately for us, Niginho had twisted his ankle the day before so there was to be no futbal. Aye aye aye. My friends all left for home to pick up their guns and drugs , or play Xbox, because if we didn't have futbal then we had nothing. Thinking on my feet, I began to howl. Soon, the chompafella was filled with stray dogs. So off I took.

The dogs scattered. I scanned the chompafella and spotted my target. I chased and chased him until I cornered him and sank my teeth into the back of his neck. My friends came around the corner as I was face deep in entrails and the way they backed off in horror seemed to say 'Gracie Luis'. They all left for home and we never got to play futbal but I learned a valuable lesson that day. Firstly, It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's more to do with the size of its stomach. Secondly, Niginho had been lying about where he sourced his footballs. Dog's stomachs don't have 'World Cup' printed on them. You live and you learn.
superp
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  #714  
Old 29-10-2014, 09:04 AM
Eoin Eoin is offline
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Dublin
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Originally Posted by Philby View Post
The first extract from Suarez' upcoming book.

Pretty boring stuff so far tbh.

http://www.theguardian.com/football/...gers-liverpool
Of course it's boring, footballers are, by and large, tedious morons off the pitch.
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  #715  
Old 29-10-2014, 09:20 AM
Philby Philby is offline
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 20,467
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Originally Posted by Eoin View Post
Of course it's boring, footballers are, by and large, tedious morons off the pitch.
True that.

Plus ghostwriters tend to homogenise sports bios by adopting a similar tone/style...often losing the player's "voice" entirely.
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  #716  
Old 29-10-2014, 10:39 AM
Red Baron Red Baron is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jinky View Post
It was a normal day in the Favela. All us kids headed to the chompafella to play futbal. We didn't usually have a ball so Niginho, my black friend, would chase down a rabid dog and snap its jugular with his mouth. Quite a skill. Unfortunately for us, Niginho had twisted his ankle the day before so there was to be no futbal. Aye aye aye. My friends all left for home to pick up their guns and drugs , or play Xbox, because if we didn't have futbal then we had nothing. Thinking on my feet, I began to howl. Soon, the chompafella was filled with stray dogs. So off I took.

The dogs scattered. I scanned the chompafella and spotted my target. I chased and chased him until I cornered him and sank my teeth into the back of his neck. My friends came around the corner as I was face deep in entrails and the way they backed off in horror seemed to say 'Gracie Luis'. They all left for home and we never got to play futbal but I learned a valuable lesson that day. Firstly, It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's more to do with the size of its stomach. Secondly, Niginho had been lying about where he sourced his footballs. Dog's stomachs don't have 'World Cup' printed on them. You live and you learn.
Very good. 😄
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