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  #21  
Old 31-10-2015, 11:38 AM
Tommy L Tommy L is offline
 
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Get some medication if you are feeling crap, don't be afraid to ask the doctor, that's what they are there for after all, if you are feeling constantly shitty then there's no harm in giving the medication a crack to get your mind in some shape, I've seen in recent year's people who have benifitted from them friend's etc, you shouldn't be going to sleep dreading the next day almost, you should be looking forward to the next day all the time.

Bottling it up is the wrong way to go, know one is going to call you a crack pot whatever because you might use medication or go see a councillor whatever, most of the time people needn't tell anyone they are reciving such help anyway, what I've seen is once people recieve help they can open up anyway and talk about their situation.
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  #22  
Old 31-10-2015, 11:41 AM
mayday mayday is offline
 
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That's probably the best and most useful post ever made on here.

Fair play KD, I always enjoy your posts about MH and I really think you'd make a great psychotherapist or counsellor. Kudos!
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  #23  
Old 31-10-2015, 11:47 AM
KD Langer KD Langer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pontipine View Post
Brilliant brilliant stuff, KD.

A thread/post i will use as a stickie in my head. I have had my own struggles with mental health and i admire your honesty and bravery speaking like that.

Genuinely mean that.
I think everyone does Ponti, just at different levels. It is impossible to go through life without suffering some form of mental or emotional distress.

M. Scott Peck opens his book the road less traveled with the line "life is difficult". It is.

During the last two years a close family member has died and a long term relationship has broken up. None of the stuff I've posted here has made this easy to deal with. But it has helped me to cope with the sadness that accompanies these things.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Happyhonkaman View Post
This is spot on - I have noticed it with so many people, they are angry all of the time.. everything is the govt out to do people, no-one ever does anything right, its all a disgrace etc etc. Peoples minds are eaten by the angst that encompasses them when none of it will change today or tomorrow and its certainly not worth burrowing yourself into a hole for.

I get my CA from what I read online, the odd time I throw on VB - thats it - nothing else

That was me, wallowing in all the negativity.

AA have a great prayer/slogan "give me the strength to change the things I can, the courage to accept the things I cannot and the wisdom to know the difference"

Like you said Honky, none of this stuff is going to change overnight and constantly worrying or getting angry over it only harms yourself. I'm not saying you can't be interested or concerned, but you have to learn to accept that some things are just going to take time.

Voluntary work is another great way to help yourself. Helping others really is its own reward. It can be as simple as calling on an elderly neighbour for a chat or getting involved coaching kids in sport, whatever is your thing.

Charities are also crying out for volunteers. If you have a couple of hours a week, its a great thing to do. Another upside to it is you will meet like minded kind hearted people and that is also good for your psyche.

You will also be making a contribution to others and making a real difference. Change is very rarely the huge effort of one person. It is usually small efforts by lots and lots of people.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacky View Post
Great post KD.

Quit irish radio news at home and in the car 6 years ago. Listen to Spotify or BBC 6 music at home or BBC R2 at work.

You could have listened to angry doom and gloom on Irish media from dawn to dusk and just so unhealthy for you.

Meditation and mindfulness, exercise and as you say everything is temporary.

All things must pass
Another great way to help with your mood. I have playlists on you tube with songs like Louis Armstrong's "waht a wonderful world" and Frank Sinatra's That's life on them.
Great for a pick me up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KolaKubes View Post
Interesting what you say about the overload of current affairs. My life is very mentally intense, has been for years and, yet, not like I'm under real pressure.

Learning to switch off is important. Doesn't mean not doing anything because that, if anything, leads to more thinking. Lot to be said for watching a dumb TV show or talking about the weather. I find reading very good.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy . Laughter is the best medicine etc.

But watching a funny film or reading a funny book is great alright.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunatic Fringe View Post
top top post and I still struggle with mental health issues but there's no way I'm giving up my leonard cohen cds
Lol.

I hear ya. Everything in moderation though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eleven View Post
Excellent post KD. Asking for help is important as far as I am concerned, but you need to keep in mind some people won't be helpful to you. Helping others who struggle with their mental health and trying to help them change the current mindset they are in is also difficult. If you genuinely think you can't help, please ask someone else to help the person in difficulty or seek help of professionals.
Great advice Eleven.

Also if you're in the process of helping someone with mental health issues, it is so important to look after your own mental health at the same time.

It's not being selfish to sometimes put yourself first, it is essential.
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  #24  
Old 31-10-2015, 11:55 AM
Tommy L Tommy L is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee Bushwacker View Post

Good stuff.
I think it's a Celtic psyche rather than Irish though POL.
If you look at Irish, Scottish and Welsh tendencies towards alcoholism I think that you'll agree. I also believe that climate has an influence. Long dark winters with very little sun are not good for people, either physically or mentally. Being sublimated by religion caused a lot of depression problems too.
Having mentioned climate, although Southern Spain has wonderful weather with lots of sun and short winters, alcoholism and depression are suffered here too but not on the same scale as in the countries I've mentioned.
I totally agree about the media. When used to drive to work in Cork, I always listened to 2FM and arrived at the office in good humour. Constant doom and gloom on the TV and radio is enough to drive a lot of people over the edge imo.
The weather here in Cork was alright up until about mid October then it got really gloomy, I find myself I need a week or two to adjust to it, some people probably can't adjust to it all, is there not some lamp ? sun lamp or something it's called ? that people use for lack of sunlight in the winter ?.

Also I'd recommend staying off facebook, at the end of the day your main concern is yourself, you don't need to see what other people are up to, 24 hours a day, you find some people now probably ignore people in their own homes while reading statuses about how someone is having a pint or is after buying a new carpet or some shit.

The concept of facebook is good to connect with people but the addictiveness of it is the problem.
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  #25  
Old 31-10-2015, 11:59 AM
Conan The Vegetarian Conan The Vegetarian is offline
 
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Seems like Ireland needs to do the same......

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  #26  
Old 31-10-2015, 12:05 PM
Eala Eala is offline
 
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Great post ��

I'm coming out the other end of my illness and even though I'm home have had to start a brand new life for myself just to get better. Always surrounded myself with the wrong people (even some family members) and cutting them all out has been such a huge step for me. It really does take a long time to change a thinking pattern.

The free gym at college is a life saver too
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  #27  
Old 31-10-2015, 12:11 PM
Dr. Aaoouh Dr. Aaoouh is offline
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I'd like to add something if it will help. This is based on my own experience with depression and with my son's. My son (15) is recovering now.

You can say that before you get depressed, you might have a life where you feel reasonably fulfilled. There are things you like to do and a pattern that you like to live that works for you. You also feel as though you have a firm identity. You sort of know who you are.

Depression wipes this away. You no longer like doing what you used to like to do. You become confused about yourself. You may want to do things and engage with the world (in the sense that you know you should be doing these things) but you can't bring yourself to. You can hardly bring yourself to do anything. It takes all of your dwindling will power to get done what needs to get done in order to get through the day or the week. Sometimes you don't even have the will power to do that.

In a way, you even begin mourning for the person you once were, because that person seems totally dead and gone. If you don't get help, or if you do get help but you don't recover quickly, your life may totally fall apart. Your marriage, job, and your relationships to important people in your life may collapse. You may (or rather, will) lose all self confidence. Things become very dark.

Then you may turn around. You may have gone to a psychiatrist and may have been given anti-depressant and perhaps anti-anxiety medications (since depression and anxiety often come together). Or perhaps you go to a therapist who slowly leads you out of the depression. Or maybe you do both.

The depression itself can then go into "remission". It may stay in remission forever, or it may come back. But if it goes into remission, you are nowhere near finished. People who don't get depression wonder why people who do will keep going on with therapy.

The thing is, when you are depressed and you lose the old patterns of your life and what brought you joy, you are also taking on at the same time the patterns of being depressed. Depression is both an illness AND a pattern of living. When the illness recedes, the pattern still remains, and in a way you have to re-learn how to live again. You might liken it to putting aside a sport that you used to be really good at and that you used to love to do. If you put it aside long enough, while you still may have the innate talent for it, you lose all of your old skill and you may even lose your love for it. So you have to go back and recapture it.

Recapturing your life, like recapturing a sport is a slow and very humiliating process. The period where you recapture your life is tough, and in some ways (again like recapturing a sport) dangerous. It is here that people give up. The temptation to give up permanently is strong, because as we all know, when you start something again like this you are probably pretty weak. It is here that people who were depressed are in danger of becoming depressed again. And many do, which is why we see people fall in and out of depression and why we often see people commit suicide just when it looks like they are getting better.

Aside from getting people help when they are depressed (and helpless) this period is very important too. They need your support. They are not depressed any more, but they are still lost. The good thing is that not being depressed, they will respond better to your help. What they need from you especially is your patience. Your patient help in leading them back to the things that they used to love to do and to patterns of life that are most productive to them.

So remember that depression is a complicated thing and takes a long time to shake, even when the clinical depression itself is in remission. Remember that the thing a depressive needs the most is friends.
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Her eyes were like the stars, not because they twinkled, but because they were so far apart.
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  #28  
Old 31-10-2015, 12:24 PM
KD Langer KD Langer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eala View Post
Great post ��

I'm coming out the other end of my illness and even though I'm home have had to start a brand new life for myself just to get better. Always surrounded myself with the wrong people (even some family members) and cutting them all out has been such a huge step for me. It really does take a long time to change a thinking pattern.

The free gym at college is a life saver too
Glad to hear you're doing well Eala.

Staying away form negative people can be helpful alright. Or, if you can't avoid them, try not to engage with their negativity.

As for the thinking pattern this is very true. Watching your own thoughts is vital. I heard a great quote somewhere recently which said "we wouldn't put up with a friend who spoke to us the same way we speak to ourselves". This is very true.

Positive thinking is not the cure all, some in the popular psychology world would have you believe. But when it comes to self talk at least, it sure beats kicking the shit out of yourself on a daily basis.
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  #29  
Old 31-10-2015, 12:26 PM
KD Langer KD Langer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mayday View Post
That's probably the best and most useful post ever made on here.

Fair play KD, I always enjoy your posts about MH and I really think you'd make a great psychotherapist or counsellor. Kudos!

Thanks Mayday.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Aaoouh View Post
I'd like to add something if it will help. This is based on my own experience with depression and with my son's. My son (15) is recovering now.

You can say that before you get depressed, you might have a life where you feel reasonably fulfilled. There are things you like to do and a pattern that you like to live that works for you. You also feel as though you have a firm identity. You sort of know who you are.

Depression wipes this away. You no longer like doing what you used to like to do. You become confused about yourself. You may want to do things and engage with the world (in the sense that you know you should be doing these things) but you can't bring yourself to. You can hardly bring yourself to do anything. It takes all of your dwindling will power to get done what needs to get done in order to get through the day or the week. Sometimes you don't even have the will power to do that.

In a way, you even begin mourning for the person you once were, because that person seems totally dead and gone. If you don't get help, or if you do get help but you don't recover quickly, your life may totally fall apart. Your marriage, job, and your relationships to important people in your life may collapse. You may (or rather, will) lose all self confidence. Things become very dark.

Then you may turn around. You may have gone to a psychiatrist and may have been given anti-depressant and perhaps anti-anxiety medications (since depression and anxiety often come together). Or perhaps you go to a therapist who slowly leads you out of the depression. Or maybe you do both.

The depression itself can then go into "remission". It may stay in remission forever, or it may come back. But if it goes into remission, you are nowhere near finished. People who don't get depression wonder why people who do will keep going on with therapy.

The thing is, when you are depressed and you lose the old patterns of your life and what brought you joy, you are also taking on at the same time the patterns of being depressed. Depression is both an illness AND a pattern of living. When the illness recedes, the pattern still remains, and in a way you have to re-learn how to live again. You might liken it to putting aside a sport that you used to be really good at and that you used to love to do. If you put it aside long enough, while you still may have the innate talent for it, you lose all of your old skill and you may even lose your love for it. So you have to go back and recapture it.

Recapturing your life, like recapturing a sport is a slow and very humiliating process. The period where you recapture your life is tough, and in some ways (again like recapturing a sport) dangerous. It is here that people give up. The temptation to give up permanently is strong, because as we all know, when you start something again like this you are probably pretty weak. It is here that people who were depressed are in danger of becoming depressed again. And many do, which is why we see people fall in and out of depression and why we often see people commit suicide just when it looks like they are getting better.

Aside from getting people help when they are depressed (and helpless) this period is very important too. They need your support. They are not depressed any more, but they are still lost. The good thing is that not being depressed, they will respond better to your help. What they need from you especially is your patience. Your patient help in leading them back to the things that they used to love to do and to patterns of life that are most productive to them.

So remember that depression is a complicated thing and takes a long time to shake, even when the clinical depression itself is in remission. Remember that the thing a depressive needs the most is friends.

This and Great post Dr.
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  #30  
Old 01-11-2015, 07:44 AM
MissRedSocks MissRedSocks is offline
 
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Fantastic post and I think everyone can take a little something from it. Well done and best of luck :- )
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