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  #91  
Old 27-02-2005, 05:09 PM
INTHEZOONE
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I do have some really horrible jokes, which on the advice of my husband, have not yet posted them. However, isn't the purpose of this thread to post disturbing jokes?

SO, what I need is for one true Cork citizen to allow me to post the most disturbing paddy joke. Any help?



BTW, you have heard of the new German microwave? Seats 12.
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  #92  
Old 27-02-2005, 05:15 PM
roland303 roland303 is offline
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not really that sick... but here goes anyway.

******************** ******************** ********

As a squad of British soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, they came across a badly mangled dead body. As they got closer, they found it was an Iraqi soldier. A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled British soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, struggling to breathe. They ran to him, cradled his blood-covered head and asked him what had happened. "Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth when I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, 'Saddam Hussein is an unprincipled, lying piece of shit!'" "He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, 'Tony Blair is an unprincipled, lying piece of shit too!'" "We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."
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  #93  
Old 27-02-2005, 05:54 PM
roland303 roland303 is offline
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Lego concentration camp.. supposed to be conceptual "art", but it hits all the "sick joke" buttons for me anyway...




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  #94  
Old 27-02-2005, 06:37 PM
Crisp Sandwich Crisp Sandwich is offline
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Kid walks into the living room where his oul fella is watching the football.

"Dad?"

"Yes son?"

"Can I have a fiver to go swimming?"

"You'll have to suck me cock for it boy"

So the son fellates his oul fella and half-way through he says

"Your cock tastes like shit dad..."

"How do you reckon your sister got the money to go to the cinema?"
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  #95  
Old 27-02-2005, 07:38 PM
TheMagicRat TheMagicRat is offline
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This fella got married and went on honeymoon to this posh hotel. As the couple had a lot of luggage, the doorman helped them in with it. He found it strange that most of them items were fishing rods, tackle and all sorts of stuff you need for fishing expeditions.

At 8am the next morning , the newly-wed man was heading out the door laden down with fishing gear, now the doorman was curious so he asked him why he was heading out so early to go fishing while on honeymoon. The man replied 'Well, it's a little sad, my wife has gonorrhea so I can't fuck her'. 'Oh, I see' says the doorman and off yer man goes fishing.

Next morning at 7am the fella is heading out, again obviously going fishing. The doorman stops him and says to him, 'Excuse me sir, I hope you don't mind me saying, it IS your honeymoon, why aren't upstairs at least kissing and cuddling your new bride?'
'Very sad' replied the newly-wed, 'can't kiss her, she's got pyhorrea'. 'oh, fair enough' says the perplexed doorman, as the the guest goes out the door, fishing tackle and all.

The following morning at 6am, the by now normal routine happens, the doorman stops the guy again and says 'Listen sir, I've been thinking about your problem and I like to suggest a solution.' 'Okay, go ahead' says his guest.'
'Well,' says the doorman, why don't you, y'know, take her from behind?'
'Very sad' says the fella, 'can't do that, she's got diarrhea'.

'Fuck me' says the exasberrated doorman, 'she's got gonnorrhea so you can't fuck her, pyhorrea so you can't kiss her and diarrhea so you can't even take her from behind! Why DID you marry this woman?'
'Well, says the hotel guest, as he adjusted his fishing rod, 'she's a great source for worms'
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  #96  
Old 27-02-2005, 08:42 PM
farna_boy farna_boy is offline
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Whats worse than waking up with a lot of pubic hair stuck between your teeth?

Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth..
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  #97  
Old 28-02-2005, 03:27 PM
blackpool biy in exile blackpool biy in exile is offline
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Jesus, thats a bad one MagicRat...
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  #98  
Old 28-02-2005, 04:12 PM
mouldydrunk mouldydrunk is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by steve sanders
i cared a great deal for

"whats 12 inches long and makes a woman scream all night?"

a cot death.


dont remember who posted it originally but it tickled my fancy.
What do you say to a handicapped Dog

Down syndrome, down!



How was berlin btw steve?
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  #99  
Old 28-02-2005, 04:34 PM
Crisp Sandwich Crisp Sandwich is offline
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A couple are in the cinema sitting happily till the young lady turns and says:

"John, the fella next to me is having a wank"

"Jesus Christ, the dirty fucker. Come on we'll move"

"I can't he's using my hand"
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  #100  
Old 03-06-2006, 09:11 PM
storysham storysham is offline
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forgot about this thread
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