Glory Wipe

[Vincent Murphy]

Just had one - faaaaantastic.

[msGod]

ok im half afraid.....that is?

[Vincent Murphy]

it's a wipe that technically is not necessary if you get my jist?

[msGod]

it's a wipe that technically is not necessary if you get my jist?


wipe now or fiddle?

[maggot]

They're the job.

[Vincent Murphy]

wipe now or fiddle?

no, i'm not into fiddling with my hole.

[msGod]

no, i'm not into fiddling with my hole.


why not?;)

[Vincent Murphy]

why not?;)

why, are you?

[msGod]

why, are you?



into fiddling with your hole?:D

[maggot]

This thread has gone to shit. :rolleyes:

[Vincent Murphy]

into fiddling with your hole?:D

no, your own hole?

stay away from mine..

[thegillabbeygowl]

What a lovely thread.
So insightful and full of interesting information.

[mr m]

What is a glory wipe?


Answer this man please.

[maggot]

What is a glory wipe?


I assume it's when you take a dump, then go to wipe your arse
and the paper is still clean after.

[thegillabbeygowl]

Retractable anus.
I like it.

[Vincent Murphy]

I assume it's when you take a dump, then go to wipe your arse
and the paper is still clean after.

maggot is on the ball.

[fintan fogerty]

Could have done with one myself there but sadly it wasn't to be. I'm a bit disappointed about it really.

[Vincent Murphy]

Could have done with one myself there but sadly it wasn't to be. I'm a bit disappointed about it really.

Yeah my luck ran out there on my last trip. I'm gutted.

[msGod]

Yeah my luck ran out there on my last trip. I'm gutted.



how many times do you go............geees: shock:

[fintan fogerty]

Well he did have a feed of pints and an lbj kebab last night. What do you expect

[msGod]

Well he did have a feed of pints and an lbj kebab last night. What do you expect


still like........he only went about 2hrs ago
men ye are definitely strange creatures........no wonder ye lose weight so quick ye shit it all out

[fintan fogerty]

You should see Vince in the Staff room. He makes no bones about it. Gets the newspaper under the arm and and tells everyone that if they're looking for him he'll be in the dump house

[msGod]

You should see Vince in the Staff room. He makes no bones about it. Gets the newspaper under the arm and and tells everyone that if they're looking for him he'll be in the dump house



:shock:

[Vincent Murphy]

how many times do you go............geees: shock:

after a feed of Bulmers I have to go about 30 times in a day.

[msGod]

after a feed of Bulmers I have to go about 30 times in a day.


that's just wrong.....:vamp:

[Vincent Murphy]

that's just wrong.....:vamp:

I only need to go once a week normally.

[msGod]

I only need to go once a week normally.


that my dear is also just wrong.......;)

[Vincent Murphy]

On a two-week holiday in Greece a few years ago I dropped the Huxtables off at the pool 422 times.

[Wolfy Van Der Greylocks]

what's the opposite of a glory wipe?

[Wolfy Van Der Greylocks]

what's the opposite of a glory wipe?


because i had one this morning

[Vincent Murphy]

a shitty arse?

[msGod]

a shitty arse?



:lol:

[Wolfy Van Der Greylocks]

after a feed of Bulmers I have to go about 30 times in a day.


my worst was after a rake of mouldy pints of murphy's in the thirsty - i had to go 13 times the next day before lunch (not a lie).

[Wolfy Van Der Greylocks]

a shitty arse?


yeah - basically, took a massive plop - but there was no splash - checked the bowl - nothing. said i'd better take a precautionary wipe - and scooped a big scutter up - took about 10 mins of wiping and scraping and a whole thing of bog wipe to right it - also, fortunately i made the clever choice of using the handicappy lav which has a sink, so i was able to use the sink as a bidet to make sure i was smelling of roses

[Vincent Murphy]

yeah - basically, took a massive plop - but there was no splash - checked the bowl - nothing. said i'd better take a precautionary wipe - and scooped a big scutter up - took about 10 mins of wiping and scraping and a whole thing of bog wipe to right it - also, fortunately i made the clever choice of using the handicappy lav which has a sink, so i was able to use the sink as a bidet to make sure i was smelling of roses

:lol!:

Can't believe you wiped an entire log off your hole!

[Wolfy Van Der Greylocks]

:lol!:

Can't believe you wiped an entire log off your hole!


it was very sticky

[Wolfy Van Der Greylocks]

:lol!:

Can't believe you wiped an entire log off your hole!


also i'm a proponent of "hovering" when in the lav, which causes your dumps to come out a slightly unnatural angle and thus if they are of a certain viscosity and stickiness they are more prone to clinging to your hole hairs.

[msGod]

also i'm a proponent of "hovering" when in the lav, which causes your dumps to come out a slightly unnatural angle and thus if they are of a certain viscosity and stickiness they are more prone to clinging to your hole hairs.



:mrgreen:

[Vincent Murphy]

also i'm a proponent of "hovering" when in the lav, which causes your dumps to come out a slightly unnatural angle and thus if they are of a certain viscosity and stickiness they are more prone to clinging to your hole hairs.

have you considered waxing your hole?

[thegillabbeygowl]

:mrgreen:

What you smiling at?
It's very vulgar and crude.

[Wolfy Van Der Greylocks]

have you considered waxing your hole?

don't need to

after every "mega plop" like i've had today - most of them get ripped out.

[Wolfy Van Der Greylocks]

What you smiling at?
It's very vulgar and crude.



:rolleyes:

[thegillabbeygowl]

:rolleyes:

You're very crude.

[Wolfy Van Der Greylocks]

You're very crude.



cuddle?

[msGod]

What you smiling at?
It's very vulgar and crude.

that hurt :(

[thegillabbeygowl]

cuddle?

Don't do cuddles or hugs.
Sorry mannnnnn.

[msGod]

You're very crude.

did you get a word a day calender or something
August 4th-Crude

[thegillabbeygowl]

that hurt :(

I'm such a bastard at times.:eek:

[msGod]

I'm such a bastard at times.:eek:


F
U
C
K

Y
O
U
:sleeping:

[thegillabbeygowl]

F
U
C
K

Y
O
U
:sleeping:

Interesting.

[fintan fogerty]

Just went for one there. Was rudely interrupted by a turd burglar. You know those people who try to open the cubicle door when you're just relaxed enough to plop. They try for about five minutes. What's that about like? Takes ages to get the plop out then

[thegillabbeygowl]

Just went for one there. Was rudely interrupted by a turd burglar. You know those people who try to open the cubicle door when you're just relaxed enough to plop. They try for about five minutes. What's that about like? Takes ages to get the plop out then

Or when someone sits down beside you in the other cubicle and they start spluttering and farting away at full speed.And you're being considerate trying not to make noise.And you just want to get sick.

[Vincent Murphy]

Just went for one there. Was rudely interrupted by a turd burglar. You know those people who try to open the cubicle door when you're just relaxed enough to plop. They try for about five minutes. What's that about like? Takes ages to get the plop out then

those little bastards have no respect for anyone.

[Wolfy Van Der Greylocks]

those little bastards have no respect for anyone.


not a sod

[Vincent Murphy]

not a sod

they need to go away and get themselves a little personal toilet etiquette development.

[Wolfy Van Der Greylocks]

they need to go away and get themselves a little personal toilet etiquette development.



:lol:

[spatterbag]

I'm such a bastard at times.:eek:

don't be so hard on yourself

[t_mccarthy]

Or when someone sits down beside you in the other cubicle and they start spluttering and farting away at full speed.And you're being considerate trying not to make noise.And you just want to get sick.

i actually start laughing when i hear the splattery fart and splash noises - it's only when i smell the other person's shit that i start to feel sick.

once after a feed of pints i knocked back a double apres and was starting to get the watery pre vom in my mouth. i got it under control but went to the bog to get some loo role to wipe my brow - when i got into the cubicle what did i see before me - someone had sprayed the entire bowl with porridge fueled excrement - the waft hit me and i spewed all over the place.


not nice.

[spatterbag]

i actually start laughing when i hear the splattery fart and splash noises - it's only when i smell the other person's shit that i start to feel sick.

once after a feed of pints i knocked back a double apres and was starting to get the watery pre vom in my mouth. i got it under control but went to the bog to get some loo role to wipe my brow - when i got into the cubicle what did i see before me - someone had sprayed the entire bowl with porridge fueled excrement - the waft hit me and i spewed all over the place.


not nice.


:lol:

[Pez123]

I assume it's when you take a dump, then go to wipe your arse
and the paper is still clean after.
Thats correct Maggot. It is second in satisfaction only to a 'shoe-box special', i.e the cable you have laid is just so perfect that you have to fight the urge to place it in a cottonwool lined shoe-box, gift-wrap it and present it to someone special..

[t_mccarthy]

Thats correct Maggot. It is second in satisfaction only to a 'shoe-box special', i.e the cable you have laid is just so perfect that you have to fight the urge to place it in a cottonwool lined shoe-box, gift-wrap it and present it to someone special..



:lol!:

fantastic

:lol!:

[dreamweaver]

:lol!: