deathcamp like working conditions

[steve sanders]

there is no scrolly wheel on my mouse. next they'll be doing genetic experiments on me and using me as a sexual pawn in their sick sick games.

anyone else suffering from barbarism in the workplace?

[watermelon]

Ha ha yeah.

They took all our servers and digital receivers and modulators and have left us with 3 digital receivers between 6 people.

And two releases due on Friday and nothing to test on.

Fuckwits.


Oh and Nescafe.

[i_didnt_do_nawtin]

Someone wants to get rid of our foosball table in favour of more seats.

Jesus, we sit down all day.

[steve sanders]

what really galls me is that in 50 odd years there will probably be people denying that sick shit like this ever happened.

[Wampire]

I joined this company as a graduate 4 months ago and was given brand new everything.

I have a window seat in an open-plan office, which is nice - a view of the hills up by Clogheen.

We have a pool table to relax in our spare time, and being a reasonably small company, it's easy enough to get play time.

I got a new chair the other day. The old one was fine (your average office chair), but they said these new types were ergonomically better.
No complaints yet about this place, I have to say.

[boxoid]

there is no scrolly wheel on my mouse. next they'll be doing genetic experiments on me and using me as a sexual pawn in their sick sick games.

anyone else suffering from barbarism in the workplace?

next you ll be saying there is a ball in your mouse

[Hang_Sandwich]

they are taking out the fountain in our place to make way for some indians that will steal our jobs. tis a good thing there is shit loads of work to be done at the moment

[mr blonde]

i have it the worst im surrounded by porn all day












mu ha ha ha ha!

[Razz]

I joined this company as a graduate 4 months ago and was given brand new everything.

I have a window seat in an open-plan office, which is nice - a view of the hills up by Clogheen.

We have a pool table to relax in our spare time, and being a reasonably small company, it's easy enough to get play time.

I got a new chair the other day. The old one was fine (your average office chair), but they said these new types were ergonomically better.
No complaints yet about this place, I have to say.

Same here, we have an "Employee Lounge" with pool table, table tennis, arcade games, gameboys, etc. The first Friday of every month we have free bar and food from 5pm so employees can mingle.... We have a gym on-site and get free massages, all drinks and fruit are free, and we have a shop, ATM,
dry-cleaning service, shopping service, etc. Can't complain.

[Wampire]

i have it the worst im surrounded by porn all day


mu ha ha ha ha!

Who turned the lights out? Oh wait! Oh no! I've gone blind!!!!!!!!



Told ya biy.

[kon]

Same here, we have an "Employee Lounge" with pool table, table tennis, arcade games, gameboys, etc. The first Friday of every month we have free bar and food from 5pm so employees can mingle.... We have a gym on-site and get free massages, all drinks and fruit are free, and we have a shop, ATM,
dry-cleaning service, shopping service, etc. Can't complain.

fuck sake................ how do you get anything done

[ho chi feen]

there is no scrolly wheel on my mouse. next they'll be doing genetic experiments on me and using me as a sexual pawn in their sick sick games.

anyone else suffering from barbarism in the workplace?

Yes, me too. I'm stuck on a bloody mac. Boo-hoo!

[mr blonde]

Told ya biy.
i should of listened but there givin me a guide dog and i can wear sunglasses all the time no matter what the weather and a huge white stick to beat my way to crowded bars also can shag ugly women with out getting sick so its win win win

[Razz]

fuck sake................ how do you get anything done

Plenty of distractions around alright, but apparently it makes for a harmonious and productive work environment.........

[watermelon]

We have only 1 telephone in our office.

No answering machine.

And if someone rings you have to cover the phone with one hand while mouthing who is on the phone to the manager.

[kon]

Plenty of distractions around alright, but apparently it makes for a harmonious and productive work environment.........

hell ya, sounds good, beats the non stop whirring of server fans anyway....

[jungle]

Worst place I ever worked [as a consultant, not a permanent employee] was *** ** - a major international courier company ;-)

They stuck me to work for 2 weeks in their 'server room'. This was a closet about the size of a desk, which contained a couple of computers. It was right next to where all the lorries used to come in to deliver and take packages. The room was filled with exhaust fumes all day long.

It's the only client site, in over 6 years with the company, that I ever went back to my bosses and told them that I refused to work there.

[watermelon]

I won't even get into the conditions in this place. It is genuinely bad though, take my word for it.
Full of beardy people is it?

Sounds like fucking hell.

[Summer]

-Our Coca-cola machine was removed last week (now we have to walk 2 blocks thru a very bad neighborhood, to the nearest store for refreshments)
-Today we are in the process of signing new internet/spandial/mobile phone usage agreements & won't be allowed to sign on to e-mail systems like yahoo any more at work
-we are actually going to have to start working instead of being on the internet all day

But, got new fast IBM computers with large flatscreens (all black) 2wks ago & pay raise is coming in April + added holiday time.
May stay a bit.

[oul'doll]

Hotmail and Yahoo and any other e-mail sites are blocked.
We can't install anything on our pcs so I cant use messenger.


Its draconian, I tell ye!

[jungle]

Hotmail and Yahoo and any other e-mail sites are blocked.
We can't install anything on our pcs so I cant use messenger.


Its draconian, I tell ye!
Try logging in to Hotmail using Outlook Express. The Hotmail website is blocked here, but they don't seem to have noticed that they've left the Outlook connection open.

[oul'doll]

We don't have Outlook. We have flipping Lotus Notes. There should be laws against this.

[i_didnt_do_nawtin]

We don't have Outlook. We have flipping Lotus Notes. There should be laws against this.

I hear ya.

Sweet jesus

[The Unholy Hypocrite]

Well im still unemployed :(


...But i do have a job interview later today :)

Fingers crossed, i'd love to be back at work

[watermelon]

Ohhh best of luck girl.

[The Unholy Hypocrite]

Ohhh best of luck girl.

Thanks. I really want this.
I miss money

[City Babe]

Well im still unemployed


...But i do have a job interview later today

Fingers crossed, i'd love to be back at work


good luck....... hope it works out for ya....

[norriewan]

We don't have Outlook. We have flipping Lotus Notes. There should be laws against this.


there should oul'doll there should

i worked in a company who swore by lotus notes. i just swore at it.

[ho chi feen]

Hotmail and Yahoo and any other e-mail sites are blocked.
We can't install anything on our pcs so I cant use messenger.


Its draconian, I tell ye!

Truly Dickensian.

Good enough for ya!

[pudgee]

I have to walk down and up four flights of stairs as many as 10 times a day.
Pigeons have come down the chimney.
My speakers don't work.

Never forget.

[Violet Beauregarde]

I have to walk down and up four flights of stairs as many as 10 times a day.
Pigeons have come down the chimney.
My speakers don't work.

Never forget.

do we work in the same building??? i work in the attic space, the kitchen is in the basement - it is an expedition to get a coffee. Finally worked up the energy to make the journey this morning to find a jar of maxwell house in the place where the real coffee machine should be (one of the few compensations is that we have really good coffee) coffee machine is sick and gone to hospital - not expected back for another week....

my desk is next to an old fireplace - there are pigeons nesting there and my typing is accompanied by their incessant cooing and my files are covered with their incessant poohing down the chimney.....

[oul'doll]

The glamour of working in London, eh!

[mr blonde]

do we work in the same building??? i work in the attic space, the kitchen is in the basement - it is an expedition to get a coffee. Finally worked up the energy to make the journey this morning to find a jar of maxwell house in the place where the real coffee machine should be (one of the few compensations is that we have really good coffee) coffee machine is sick and gone to hospital - not expected back for another week....

my desk is next to an old fireplace - there are pigeons nesting there and my typing is accompanied by their incessant cooing and my files are covered with their incessant poohing down the chimney.....
poison the pigeons leave a dead one top chimney the rest will fuck off

[elwood blues]

The glamour of working in London, eh!
Victorian London by the sound of it.

[pudgee]

The glamour of working in London, eh!
Amazingly, it ain't all cream teas at the Dorchester and champagne cocktails at the Ritz.
I mean, a lot of it is, but not all.

[oul'doll]

Amazingly, it ain't all cream teas at the Dorchester and champagne cocktails at the Ritz.
I mean, a lot of it is, but not all.


You'd better tell Melons. She's been to the tailors already today, getting 2 dozen cocktail dresses made up.

[steve sanders]

You'd better tell Melons. She's been to the tailors already today, getting 2 dozen cocktail dresses made up.

i understand she does almost the same thing in bars every night.

the lush.

[pudgee]

i understand she does almost the same thing in bars every night.

the lush.
Ha?

[oul'doll]

i understand she does almost the same thing in bars every night.

the lush.


Huh?

[Violet Beauregarde]

The glamour of working in London, eh!

Actually I'm not in London - i was just empathising with pudgee! I'm in Cork. A very old wonky building in cork.....

[steve sanders]

gets two dozen cocktails made up.



im tired. leave me be.

[oul'doll]

gets two dozen cocktails made up.



im tired. leave me be.



Awww. Poor lickkle Stevie. Come and sit on my knee and have a nap.

[steve sanders]

Awww. Poor lickkle Stevie. Come and sit on my knee and have a nap.

no. you have roving hands.

ROVING I TELL YOU.

[steve sanders]

there is no scrolly wheel on my mouse. next they'll be doing genetic experiments on me and using me as a sexual pawn in their sick sick games.

anyone else suffering from barbarism in the workplace?

further to the above, i stole someone elses mouse many months back as it had the required wheel.

however having returned from holidays (very nice thanks) i find my mouse wheel no longer works. i am unable to state whether someone has replaced my mouse with a defective one, or broke the wheel in my absence.

i am, however, able to state that i am upset.

[pudgee]

further to the above, i stole someone elses mouse many months back as it had the required wheel.

however having returned from holidays (very nice thanks) i find my mouse wheel no longer works. i am unable to state whether someone has replaced my mouse with a defective one, or broke the wheel in my absence.

i am, however, able to state that i am upset.

They probably changed it. They know how to hurt you.

[Ciotóg]

I'm currently operating a fully-wheeled wireless rodent. Its feel is quite pleasing overall. I am drunk though, and I fear that my boss has smelt me out. This is truly intolerable.

[steve sanders]

i have just spotted a lone rodent from accross the room. i shall endeavour to replace mine with same immediately.

stay tuned, as an update on the result of this operation shall follow presently.

[Ciotóg]

i have just spotted a lone rodent from accross the room. i shall endeavour to replace mine with same immediately.

stay tuned, as an update on the result of this operation shall follow presently.
I await with baited breath.

[macuísle]

Well I'm unemployed at the present. It doesn't get more depressing than that. I envy you young whips with your phones and your pool tables. Spoiled to death the lot of ye.

[steve sanders]

it worked out pretty well.

my defective mouse was of the usb variety whereas my new one is a strictly old skool ps2 type. there was a hilarious five minute period wherein both devices were active simultaneously.

it grew confusing so i have dismissed the defective model.

[pudgee]

it worked out pretty well.

my defective mouse was of the usb variety whereas my new one is a strictly old skool ps2 type. there was a hilarious five minute period wherein both devices were active simultaneously.

it grew confusing so i have dismissed the defective model.

That's mad! Two mouses! Mad!

[janglinjack]

I asked my supervisor for a mousepad 2 weeks ago and he appears to have forgotten. These guys don't seem to realise how difficult they can make our lives by their carelessness. I am at this moment whipping up unrest umongst my coworkers with a view to starting an in-office dirty protest.

[yer_one]

well i work in an office with 1 ladies toilet.
a tiny kitchen area with a skanky kettle and microwave that has 2 yrs worth of food on it!
No water machine but a drinks machine takes your money and never gives out.
A lovely view of a dumping site on one side and mechanics on the other.......oh lucky me!

[pudgee]

a drinks machine takes your money and never gives out.


Sounds like my wife! Eh guys? Eh?

[yer_one]

Sounds like my wife! Eh guys? Eh?


lol you know after I wrote it I wonder how quick a fella would pick that one bit out.........
Well done........

[steve sanders]

there is no sugar in the office today. can you believe that? i like sugar in my coffee.

once again, the conditions of my workplace give me a real sense of empathy with the chosen people.

[watermelon]

there is no sugar in the office today. can you believe that? i like sugar in my coffee.

once again, the conditions of my workplace give me a real sense of empathy with the chosen people.
Dont know how you put up with it Sanders.

[pudgee]

there is no sugar in the office today. can you believe that? i like sugar in my coffee.

once again, the conditions of my workplace give me a real sense of empathy with the chosen people.

The water cooler hasn't been refilled for 5 weeks now.
That means I need to go down four flights of stairs for a beverage.

[watermelon]

I dont have my own PC in my job.

[yer_one]

I sit a desk away from a fella who likes to repeat himself 3 times on EVERYTHING he says. :mad:

[Proinsias]

The cheap coffee in the machines near me is undrinkable. I need to walk over o the other building and pay 95p for a decent capuccino.

it's an untenable situation. I predict a riot.

[Ciotóg]

There's a man in the office encasing me in polystyrene.

[Faker_Baker]

The cheap coffee in the machines near me is undrinkable. I need to walk over o the other building and pay 95p for a decent capuccino.

it's an untenable situation. I predict a riot.


95p for a decent capuccino? WHere are you? Take me to this establishment that does cheap decent capuccino! Take me there now!

[Hang_Sandwich]

I joined this company as a graduate 4 months ago and was given brand new everything.

I have a window seat in an open-plan office, which is nice - a view of the hills up by Clogheen.

We have a pool table to relax in our spare time, and being a reasonably small company, it's easy enough to get play time.

I got a new chair the other day. The old one was fine (your average office chair), but they said these new types were ergonomically better.
No complaints yet about this place, I have to say.

Corporate Whore.

I have to talk to our lovely friend in New Deli on the phone many times per day - its inhumane

[Proinsias]

95p for a decent capuccino? WHere are you? Take me to this establishment that does cheap decent capuccino! Take me there now!
It's inside in work.

It was 25p in the last place.

*sob*


I wonder what the Wetherspoons capuccino is like, they were advertising it for 65p, with a free perched biscuit. Must try it some saturday afternoon whilst out shopping or something...

[Proinsias]

well i work in an office with 1 ladies toilet.
a tiny kitchen area with a skanky kettle and microwave that has 2 yrs worth of food on it!
No water machine but a drinks machine takes your money and never gives out.
A lovely view of a dumping site on one side and mechanics on the other.......oh lucky me!
I recommend putting a bowl of water and lemon into the microwave for 5 minutes, then wiping it down. Suddenly you no longer have a manky microwave.


I was seriously considering one of them caffitierre yokes before they opened the new canteen.


I miss the resturants (canteens would be an insult), deli-bars and coffee shops at the last place.

[BangorFeen]

I work with a lad called Takashi. I have to struggle manfully not to laugh all day at that...

http://www.audiobooksonline .com/shopsite/media/Charles_Dickens_Hard _Times_unabridged_ca ssettes.jpg

Not even the solemnity of Martin Jarvis can truly convey the horror...

[Kimberley]

I got a great big Easter egg this morning as a present from work. I've been looking at it all morning and don't want to be seen as the fat shit who opens hers before the day. But inevitably, I will be.

[Da blonde one]

I work on a quarry, massive gaping holes all over the place.
Dust flying everywhere so my skin is after getting very bad, ( I wonder if they'll pay for a facial)

Dirty drivers, covered in god knows what, 1 unisex toilet, ( I wait till I go home) and 1 kitchen between all, and by kitchen I mean a cubby hole with a kettle in it.

Overall great work conditions.

[yer_one]

I recommend putting a bowl of water and lemon into the microwave for 5 minutes, then wiping it down. Suddenly you no longer have a manky microwave.


I was seriously considering one of them caffitierre yokes before they opened the new canteen.


I miss the resturants (canteens would be an insult), deli-bars and coffee shops at the last place.


Ah I got the old lemon in the bowl of water trick from 'How clean is your house'. Did that a few weeks back as I bored and it was better than doing work.

I have my own little shop under my deak at the moment with 9 x 1.5 L of water. Waitrose was doing BOGOF recently so stocked up.

I work in a shitty area, its bloody vile.
Used to work in Tolworth which isnt great but had a hugh M&S down stairs and various delis.
I work for a big Telecoms company but unless you work in one of the new or regional offices you are lucky to get heating!

[Proinsias]

Ah I got the old lemon in the bowl of water trick from 'How clean is your house'. Did that a few weeks back as I bored and it was better than doing work.

I have my own little shop under my deak at the moment with 9 x 1.5 L of water. Waitrose was doing BOGOF recently so stocked up.

I work in a shitty area, its bloody vile.
Used to work in Tolworth which isnt great but had a hugh M&S down stairs and various delis.
I work for a big Telecoms company but unless you work in one of the new or regional offices you are lucky to get heating!
I work for a big telecoms company too.

It's the european headquarters, so, er, ha!

[yer_one]

I work for a big telecoms company too.

It's the european headquarters, so, er, ha!

ya ya what ever!!
You are in Reading, ya?
Work in Winnersh?

[markinmanc]

My employers are rewarding and recognising my contribution by awarding me a 6k paycut - hmmmmmm.

[Proinsias]

ya ya what ever!!
You are in Reading, ya?
Work in Winnersh?
Basingstoke.

Hint:
It's Motorola.

[yer_one]

Basingstoke.

Hint:
It's Motorola.

Not sure I would have classes Motorola as a Telecoms co.

I am becoming a Virgin!

[Proinsias]

You work from Rehymen?

Hmm...

Telecommunications is pretty much all Motorola do.

What would you consder them to be??

[watermelon]

Telecommunications is pretty much all Motorola do.


Developing swish phones that are shocking to use is also another thing they do.

[yer_one]

You work from Rehymen?

Hmm...

Telecommunications is pretty much all Motorola do.

What would you consder them to be??


Rehymen? what the hell?

Ok I suppose it is, Telecoms is a wide area isnt it

[Proinsias]

Developing swish phones that are shocking to use is also another thing they do.
Yes, we're good at that.

I had such hopes of reversing that trend, but I fear this one will still be a nightmare to use.

Still, I've harassed a number of vice presidents of the company about it. Not going to let this one rest. I pointed out to one of them (in a meeting...) that my girlfriend gave back her Motorola phone as she found it too hard to use and what were we going to do about it.

He replied with "Well I don't want to say anything about your girlfriend's intelligence but..." and then proceeded to ignore the point of my question

Which I thought was thoroughtly unprofessional.


Anyway, it's hard for people to see that there's a problem as they've all used the same UI for donkey's years.

[Proinsias]

Rehymen? what the hell?


Bad joke

Ok I suppose it is, Telecoms is a wide area isnt it

Meh, not really. It's anything to do with the architecture for the transmission of data. The term gets appropriated by companies. Microsoft is not a telecoms company. Cicso is.

[yer_one]

Rehymen? what the hell?

Ok I suppose it is, Telecoms is a wide area isnt it


Oh oh I get the rehymen now....
must remember to collect brain at dry cleaners this evening! :roll:

[watermelon]

Yes, we're good at that.

I had such hopes of reversing that trend, but I fear this one will still be a nightmare to use.

Still, I've harassed a number of vice presidents of the company about it. Not going to let this one rest. I pointed out to one of them (in a meeting...) that my girlfriend gave back her Motorola phone as she found it too hard to use and what were we going to do about it.

He replied with "Well I don't want to say anything about your girlfriend's intelligence but..." and then proceeded to ignore the point of my question

Which I thought was thoroughtly unprofessional.


Anyway, it's hard for people to see that there's a problem as they've all used the same UI for donkey's years.
Im a computer programmer who develops applications for mobile phones and I think they are not intuitive, shocking texting abilities and when I tried that thing of finding mates by bluetooth ( who sat beside me) it would not work. During some of our manual testing phases we found the Motorola V3 were the ones that didnt conform the most.

Of course I had mine before I realized this.

I have often thought about returning it to O2 because I am not happy with the product. When I lost my phone they wouldn't let me upgrade or downgrade.

So you can tell them that.

[Proinsias]

Im a computer programmer who develops applications for mobile phones and I think they are not intuitive, shocking texting abilities and when I tried that thing of finding mates by bluetooth ( who sat beside me) it would not work. During some of our manual testing phases we found the Motorola V3 were the ones that didnt conform the most.

Of course I had mine before I realized this.

I have often thought about returning it to O2 because I am not happy with the product. When I lost my phone they wouldn't let me upgrade or downgrade.

So you can tell them that.
I have no idea how to turn that 20 message limit on my mailbox off.
I can't change the text sizes.
I frequently send blank text messages after a couple of pints as some buttons change function depending on what you're doing.
I'm not 100% sure exactly how the text message dictionary works.
I've deleted many, many pictures by pressing Discard, instead of menu->store only.
I have no idea what the "smart" key, down the left hand side really does.


I've got hours worth of complaints over the UI. It's beyond shit.

[doppelganger]

Injured the left foot at the weekend and got a sick note for the week but came in anyway.
So now I´m sitting with one foot on the desk and if anybody bothers me I will activate the sick note and bugger off home for the week.
Just spent the last hour playing scrabble on yahoo games.

[yer_one]

Bad joke


Meh, not really. It's anything to do with the architecture for the transmission of data. The term gets appropriated by companies. Microsoft is not a telecoms company. Cicso is.


No I dont work for Virgin, work for a company virgin mobile is meant to be merging with.

[Nicewanbiy]

Im a computer programmer who develops applications for mobile phones and I think they are not intuitive, shocking texting abilities and when I tried that thing of finding mates by bluetooth ( who sat beside me) it would not work. During some of our manual testing phases we found the Motorola V3 were the ones that didnt conform the most.

Of course I had mine before I realized this.

I have often thought about returning it to O2 because I am not happy with the product. When I lost my phone they wouldn't let me upgrade or downgrade.

So you can tell them that.
Ya ya ya, know anything about the nokia 8910i? Can i use it to take OVER THE WORLD?

[Proinsias]

Ya ya ya, know anything about the nokia 8910i? Can i use it to take OVER THE WORLD?
Yes.

But I'm not going to tell you how.


Do your own dirty work.

[trasnanadtonnta]

My workplace is out of mental floss. They told me this is largely because it only exists on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, but I'll not be fobbed off so easily...

[elwood blues]

My workplace is out of mental floss. They told me this is largely because it only exists on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, but I'll not be fobbed off so easily...
You mean Sabrina the "almost a thirtysomething" Teenage Witch.

[trasnanadtonnta]

You mean Sabrina the "almost a thirtysomething" Teenage Witch.

Yes.

I cried when Harvey came to her wedding and whisked her away. Cried. Like a baby.

[ho chi feen]

Arrived in work last Friday to find they'd taken the espresso machine way. Disgraceful stuff!

[Kimberley]

My workplace is out of mental floss. They told me this is largely because it only exists on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, but I'll not be fobbed off so easily...
Dya know what. I bumped into her, Melissa Joan Hart, in Bloomies in NYC. I stared and her for about a minute and she stared back. Rather plain without make up and a bit plump. Did I hear she did Playboy?

[ho chi feen]

Dya know what. I bumped into her, Melissa Joan Hart, in Bloomies in NYC. I stared and her for about a minute and she stared back. Rather plain without make up and a bit plump. Did I hear she did Playboy?


She did?

[Kimberley]

She did?
That's what my fella told me. I'm going to search on net now. Can you imagine!!!

[Aislegullim]

That's what my fella told me. I'm going to search on net now. Can you imagine!!!

T'would be a travesty.....she's one of the plainest 'stars' out there....

[Kimberley]

T'would be a travesty.....she's one of the plainest 'stars' out there....
She's lovely in an early 90s kind of way.