Superior
22-11-2007, 02:12 PM
Fresh from a grieving nation...
_________________
> SCOTLAND DIES LAUGHING
>
>
>
> TRIBUTES are being paid to Scotland this morning after the entire
> country laughed itself to death.
>
> The alarm was first raised at around 10pm last night as thousands of
> phone calls and text messages went unanswered.
>
> Small groups of volunteers from Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Carlisle
> ventured north just after midnight only to find houses full of dead
> people gathered around still blaring television sets.
>
> By dawn, as RAF helicopters flew over deserted city streets, it was
> clear that the whole country had suffered a catastrophic abdominal
> rupture.
>
>
> Wayne Hayes, a special constable from Northumberland, said: "We went
> into one house in Dunbar and found three men sitting on the sofa with
> huge smiles on their faces, still holding cans of 70 shilling. They
> seemed to be at peace."
>
> He added: "In a house near Edinburgh we found a man face down on the
> living room floor with his trousers and pants round his knees.
>
> "It seems he may have been showing his bare buttocks to the television
> when he keeled over."
>
> Roy Hobbs, a civil engineer from Northampton, said: "I got a call from
> my friend Ian in Stirling at about 9.50pm.
>
> "He was already laughing when I answered the phone, but after about 25
> minutes of the most vigorous and uncontrollable hilarity, everything
> suddenly went very quiet."
>
> Moving tributes are already being placed along the Scotland-England
> border with many mourners opting to leave a simple bag of chips or a
> deep fried bunch of flowers.
_________________
> SCOTLAND DIES LAUGHING
>
>
>
> TRIBUTES are being paid to Scotland this morning after the entire
> country laughed itself to death.
>
> The alarm was first raised at around 10pm last night as thousands of
> phone calls and text messages went unanswered.
>
> Small groups of volunteers from Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Carlisle
> ventured north just after midnight only to find houses full of dead
> people gathered around still blaring television sets.
>
> By dawn, as RAF helicopters flew over deserted city streets, it was
> clear that the whole country had suffered a catastrophic abdominal
> rupture.
>
>
> Wayne Hayes, a special constable from Northumberland, said: "We went
> into one house in Dunbar and found three men sitting on the sofa with
> huge smiles on their faces, still holding cans of 70 shilling. They
> seemed to be at peace."
>
> He added: "In a house near Edinburgh we found a man face down on the
> living room floor with his trousers and pants round his knees.
>
> "It seems he may have been showing his bare buttocks to the television
> when he keeled over."
>
> Roy Hobbs, a civil engineer from Northampton, said: "I got a call from
> my friend Ian in Stirling at about 9.50pm.
>
> "He was already laughing when I answered the phone, but after about 25
> minutes of the most vigorous and uncontrollable hilarity, everything
> suddenly went very quiet."
>
> Moving tributes are already being placed along the Scotland-England
> border with many mourners opting to leave a simple bag of chips or a
> deep fried bunch of flowers.