Smug first time Mum-To-Be in Shock After Realising ‘They Actually Come Out Your Vagina’
Even though she “sort of knew how it worked all along” a young expectant first-time mum is in shock this morning after the reality that she will have to force a small child out through her vagina suddenly hit her.
Edel Keyford from Forge Hill who is thirty-eight weeks pregnant has had the shock of her life this morning after the fully realising how her baby will arrive into the world.
Ms. Keyford has spent the last few months prancing around town boasting that she has been enjoying a “perfect pregnancy” and telling anyone who would listen that she has been entirely free of morning sickness.
“I never really thought this one out”, she sobbed whilst sitting in a pool of her own vomit, “I mean, it’s really small and the baby is really big…that can’t work, can it?!”
After a trip to her G.P. this morning for a check up Ms. Keyford became aware of how the infant would be delivered when the doctor mentioned her vagina seemingly out of the blue.
“I thought it was really inappropriate for her to suddenly start talking about that area and then it hit me like the 214 in the middle of the Togher Road”
“I was fully sure that I was special and that the baby would just be in my arms once I reached my due date. I didn’t really think about how that would actually happen. Jesus Christ, like. It comes out your ACTUAL fanny!!! I don’t believe it.”
It has been rumoured for years that Bob Marley lived in Cork...and possibly still does. Only that can explain the manic devotion to the reggae superstar on Leeside...
This time last year Cork were Munster champions going into the All-Ireland semi-final on a high. It didn't end well. The Rebels have added some steel that should help avoid another semi drubbing but is it enough to beat a tough Limerick outfit?
It's time to hand the event centre tender over to the Peeple'a'Cork. Just give us 100 Saturdays and we'll knock it together. Anyone have a spare trowel?