Smug first time Mum-To-Be in Shock After Realising ‘They Actually Come Out Your Vagina’

Posted on Feb 6, 2017 in News

 
 




Even though she “sort of knew how it worked all along” a young expectant first-time mum is in shock this morning after the reality that she will have to force a small child out through her vagina suddenly hit her.

Edel Keyford from Forge Hill who is thirty-eight weeks pregnant has had the shock of her life this morning after the fully realising how her baby will arrive into the world.

Ms. Keyford has spent the last few months prancing around town boasting that she has been enjoying a “perfect pregnancy” and telling anyone who would listen that she has been entirely free of morning sickness. 

“I never really thought this one out”, she sobbed whilst sitting in a pool of her own vomit, “I mean, it’s really small and the baby is really big…that can’t work, can it?!”

After a trip to her G.P. this morning for a check up Ms. Keyford became aware of how the infant would be delivered when the doctor mentioned her vagina seemingly out of the blue.

“I thought it was really inappropriate for her to suddenly start talking about that area and then it hit me like the 214 in the middle of the Togher Road”

“I was fully sure that I was special and that the baby would just be in my arms once I reached my due date. I didn’t really think about how that would actually happen. Jesus Christ, like. It comes out your ACTUAL fanny!!!  I don’t believe it.” 

 
Lamp this Unreal Drone Video of Cork

Lamp this Unreal Drone Video of Cork

If you have a Cork fetish like us then this will get you off big time...

Read More

Extreme Weather Watch: Ireland Being Blasted by FIERCE Category 5 Mildness

Extreme Weather Watch: Ireland Being Blasted by FIERCE Category 5 Mildness

Emergency Weather Committee seek €500 million relief fund as incredible mildness sets in over the country...

Read More

Expat Phones Home to Tell Family Weather is Better in Australia

Expat Phones Home to Tell Family Weather is Better in Australia

A Corkman and emigrant has made a series of phone calls home again to let his family and friends know that the weather is better in Australia....

Read More

Delivery Driver Couldn’t Be Arsed Checking If You’re Home

Delivery Driver Couldn’t Be Arsed Checking If You’re Home

Courier Jason ‘Short Puc’ Lawlor from Ballyphehane has admitted he doesn’t even bother getting out of the van to see if people are at home anymore when delivering packages...

Read More

February 2017 - Cork Live Music Preview

February 2017 - Cork Live Music Preview

Raising Jupiter, Midge Ure, Dinosaur, Donna Taggart, Karl Blau and lots more..

Read More

 
 

Advertising