Rhys Meyers Reacts to Tom Kenny Injury

19th May 2010

Gattin' on.

The international conspiracy against Cork continues as actor Johnny O'Keeffe aka Jonathan Rhys Meyers is banned from United Airlines for reacting to news that Cork midfield All-Star Tom Kenny will miss the May 30th clash with Tipperary down the Pairc.

Keefa heard the sensational news on CNN's loud American Morning show and shouted at the screen in frustration. It is believed Keefa has put as much as a ton on Cork doing the hurling and football double in September.

The use of the well known Cork slang term 'nobber' by Rhys Meyers set off alarm bells among staff and the Dublin media has berated the actor. Insisting the actor used the 'N' word to an employee who asked Keefa to calm down, the airline has decided to capitalise on its Dublin bias and refuse to fly the Corkonian for the rest of his life.

A man with a lazy eye outside the 147 Snooker Club in Blackpool said regular Keefa was "entitled to reject all things Dublin and embrace Cork and should have given yer man a proper dalk inta de hed to boot".

Meanwhile, Bishop John Buckley has directed all priests in the Cork diocese to perform round the clock novenas for Tom Kenny's hamstring and the Buddhist centre in Beara has been doing round the clock silent retreats to concentrate their spiritual healing powers on Tom's leg. Kenny has been visiting the North Cathedral every morning and taking ice baths in frezzing Holy Water since the incident last weekend.

Youghally Leigh Desmond who performed well in the league and who would be Kenny's natural replacement is also out. Michael Cussen and Jonathan Rhys Meyers are the only other people ruled out of the May 30th clash at Pairc Úi Squeeze.

It's enough to drive one to drink.