Putting Fermoy On The Football Map

6th Dec 2002

John Patrick Howard from Fermoy could soon be the next Irish manager. He sent us a copy of the letter he sent to the FAI and he needs your support to secure the position.

Football Assocaition of Ireland
80 Merrion Square,
Dublin 2.

Attn: General Secretary

Dear Sir,
I would like to take this opportunity to offer my services as National Team Manager for the Republic of Ireland. I believe when you are finished reading this letter you will be sufficiently convinced I am your man.
I have a proven track record in project management in Europe, Asia and the Middle East working in various countries like Malaysia, England, Bahrain, Saudi Arabia etc. The projects I have worked on ranged in value from US$1 million to US$130 million. Therefore the meagre budget you provide will be a doddle.
I am an Irish national. Born in Cork which will be a major advantage as Cork is the centre of football excellence in Ireland….Noel Cantwell, Denis Irwin, Roy Keane, Colin Healy, Dave Barry and Jimmy Barry Murphy….need I go on? In addition of course to Cork being the true capital of the northern hemisphere and rumoured to be the centre of the universe.

Given your full support, when I accept your offer, I plan to put the following plans in place.
I intend to level Tipperary town (it won't be missed) to the ground and create something we as a country have been missing: a national stadium. There was a lot of thought went into the location and costings. I don't want to say too much now but when I accept the position I'll let you know. Listed below are some of the positive aspects of my proposal….

1. Its in Munster (not the best part but we'll get a good deal)
2. Its not Dublin.
3. You can get to Cork Airport in 50 minutes if there's no traffic in Mitchelstown or Fermoy.
4. Its far enough away from Dublin that the Jackeens won't know as they get nose bleeds if they go further than the red Cow roundabout.
5. Roy Keane won't have far to travel.
6. The rest of Ireland are welcome in Cork, unlike Dublin.
7. Its not Dublin.

Then of course there is the McCarthy and McGuire connections when they'd come down south and visit us and stay for 12 months then go back to Dublin in September for a few days then come back again.
My experience with other nationals is obviously a great asset as is my knowledge of the game. Jimmy Magee would be stumped to ask a question I don't know. I have recently applied for the upcoming manager's position at Manchester United and they have informed me that they will contact me should a suitable position become available so lads you'd better make your mind up fast.
I think based on your previous appointments that I shall easily satisfy your requirements in full. I believe you are considering applications from people with a proven Premiership record, I then pose the question if they have such a good record why are they available?
I bring with me youth, ambition, knowledge, love of football and above all pride in my country. Salary is negotiable, as are the benefits but rest assured that in my capable hands we will eclipse the Jack Charlton era,
You can give me a call, email me or send a letter to my home address however be warned I'm not starting until after Christmas…..

regards,
John Howard
64 McCurtin Street, Fermoy, Co. Cork.
john.p.howard@bigfoot.com

Tel: +353 86 8062776