Planning Permission Granted for Cussen

30th May 2007

 

Planning Permission Granted for Cussen
Alan Ger

Cork full forward Michael Cussen battling against Limerick and low flying aircraft

Speaking of large young men in red jerseys, Michael Cussen looks to be named at full forward again this weekend to face Tipperary in the Munster Senior football semi-final.

The Cork County Board have confirmed that they have received planning permission from Limerick County Council to erect the towering structure in front of the goals at the Gaelic Grounds this Sunday.

At rest "Cuss" measures an enormous six foot seven inches - the same height as Munster giants Paul O'Connell and Donnacha O'Callaghan. In full flight with his arms extended above him to collect dropping balls, Cork's target man has shown up on radar screens in Cork Airport as a hazard to low flying aircraft.

Rebel boss and footballing grand master Billy Morgan is reported to be reluctant to have flashing red lights attached to Cussen's upper body this Sunday in Limerick. However, in a brokered agreement PROC can confirm that if Tipperary are diminished sufficiently at half time Morgan may replace Cussen to allow scheduled flights to land safely at nearby Shannon Airport.

This of course will have to involve a written guarantee from players, that Cork will not lapse into a casual coma after half time allowing the no-hopers to come back into the game and threaten to throw the local aeronautical industry into chaos.

We're beyond confident. If you're taking a flight from any airport in Munster this weekend and can't find a telly just watch the departure screens for delays and the result should be obvious.

CORK: P O'Shea; M Shields, G Canty, K O'Connor; N O'Leary, G Spillane, A Lynch; D Kavanagh, N Murphy; C McCarthy, P O'Neill, L MacMahon; J Masters, M Cussen, D O'Connor.