Obama Urged to Press The Button And Be Done With It
As most of the world poops its pants after the victory of Donald Trump in the U.S. presidential election many despairing onlookers around the world have been urging the outgoing White House administration to launch a global nuclear war as soon as possible so we can just be done with it.
Citing the absolute certainty that Donald Trump is going to cause an atomic war anyway people believe Barrack Obama should mark his last day in the Oval Office by inputing the secret codes that send orders to his military commanders to launch the nation’s entire nuclear arsenal.
“I’d much rather have my face melted off by an Obama bomb than a Trump one”, said Donnelly Morrison, a New York Times reader and 'twitterazi metropreneur’, “I would hate my last thought to be that Trump got me and my liberal beliefs”.
Trump’s election is likely to see a new wave of northern European hippies moving to west Cork – the first wave in the 1970s descended on the Rebel county when it was advised that the area would be one of the safest if the world experienced a nuclear winter.
The unexpected period of immigration resulted in an explosion of incense fuelled healing circles, demand for gluten free organic marmalade and clapped-out volkswagon camper vans with peace signs on them.
It also made it much easier to get a bit of smoke down west. So on that note: Dowtcha Trumpy, boy!
As Cork’s Peter O’Mahony lines out to captain the British and Irish Lions against the All Blacks in New Zealand a lion at Fota Island wildlife park has opened up the PROC about his relationship with the Irish number 6.
From Conor Lehane's outrageous catch and point to the 'shoulder of the year' on poor Kevin Moran by Bill Cooper, Sunday's match gave us a bit more than a hurling semi...
And in thirty years time it is projected that the number of people from the town who have achieved a podium finish at the highest level in the sport will exceed the total number of people living in the town