Obama Urged to Press The Button And Be Done With It
As most of the world poops its pants after the victory of Donald Trump in the U.S. presidential election many despairing onlookers around the world have been urging the outgoing White House administration to launch a global nuclear war as soon as possible so we can just be done with it.
Citing the absolute certainty that Donald Trump is going to cause an atomic war anyway people believe Barrack Obama should mark his last day in the Oval Office by inputing the secret codes that send orders to his military commanders to launch the nation’s entire nuclear arsenal.
“I’d much rather have my face melted off by an Obama bomb than a Trump one”, said Donnelly Morrison, a New York Times reader and 'twitterazi metropreneur’, “I would hate my last thought to be that Trump got me and my liberal beliefs”.
Trump’s election is likely to see a new wave of northern European hippies moving to west Cork – the first wave in the 1970s descended on the Rebel county when it was advised that the area would be one of the safest if the world experienced a nuclear winter.
The unexpected period of immigration resulted in an explosion of incense fuelled healing circles, demand for gluten free organic marmalade and clapped-out volkswagon camper vans with peace signs on them.
It also made it much easier to get a bit of smoke down west. So on that note: Dowtcha Trumpy, boy!
Sustainable energy supporters have got a major boost after Clonakilty revealed that it will become the first town in Ireland to be powered entirely by stag and hen parties.
A idiot has decided to make a badly timed intervention to “help” her friend and mother of three young children to be a better parent....
Food guide fail. Every Cork person knows that ALL of the country’s best restaurants are in Cork.