New Training Cone Promised for Cork GAA

26th Jul 2015

PROC has learned that the Cork County Board is set to make an unprecedented investment in underage GAA on Leeside by purchasing a new training cone.

After the ‘Black July’ double-defeat in Thurles fans and ex-players have been calling for a substantial commitment from the CCB to support clubs around the county in both codes.

A spokesperson for the board announced earlier this week that they would be seeking tenders to supply one additional training cone to underage intercounty teams. Suppliers have been advised to send their price lists to the county board at: Cone Purchase Scheme Committee, The Demolished Stand, Páirc Úi Chaoimh, Cork.

“We see this as part of a much-needed major overhaul of the underage system in Cork”, said the spokesperson, “and it will hopefully shut people the fuck up for another few months so we can get on with pouring money into building Stade de Franc before we all die of old age”.
 

Cork fans prayers have been answered

Concerns have been raised by meek county board club representatives that two cones should have been purchased given Cork’s commitment to both codes but this has been dismissed by the board executive.

“The new cone can easily be shared by hurling and football coaches”, said the spokesman, “who do these fellas think we are? Tipperary? Waterford?”

Asked about the continuing grave concerns about Cork’s appalling lack of underage success in hurling the official, speaking under the promise of anonymity, was frank:   

“Yerra, throw on the jersey, have pride in it and hurl away to fuck. Don’t mind this modern tippy-tappy tactics shite”.