Mubarak To Stand for FF in North Central
Hosni Mubarak who has now fled the Presidential Palace in Egypt is believed to have gone into hiding in Tullamore, County Offaly.
It is understood that the shamed dictator is interested in taking up residency in Ireland to avail of tax breaks for powerful politicians as well as giving advice to Fianna Fail who hope to cling on to the reigns of power after the February 25th general election.
The Egyptian is said to have favoured Ireland for a number of reasons including its penchant for unsustainable financial pyramid schemes as well as weak or non-existent corruption laws which allow politicians to milk the country until it is bankrupt.
The president who took over in Cairo almost 30 years ago was ousted from power after weeks of protest by billions of Egyptians and is in favour of recapitalising Anglo Irish Bank with tax payers money until over 98% of the country's entire wealth has been consumed by the crumbling institution. He will keep the other 2% for himself while the entire population of the island moves to Australia to work in Irish pubs.
Election posters bearing Mubarak's mug began appearing this morning around Shandon Street, Gerald Griffin Street and Cathedral Road. The Egyptian celebrity is hoping to host clinics in the area in the coming weeks.
It has been rumoured for years that Bob Marley lived in Cork...and possibly still does. Only that can explain the manic devotion to the reggae superstar on Leeside...
This time last year Cork were Munster champions going into the All-Ireland semi-final on a high. It didn't end well. The Rebels have added some steel that should help avoid another semi drubbing but is it enough to beat a tough Limerick outfit?