Delivery Driver Couldn’t Be Arsed Checking If You’re Home

Posted on Feb 13, 2017 in News

 
 


Courier Jason ‘Smokey’ Lawlor from Ballyphehane has admitted he doesn’t bother getting out of the van to see if people are at home anymore when delivering packages. The 34 year old claims he's "grand with dropping stuff to businesses" but houses only “annoys the shit" out of him.

“Look, they’re probably at work so why should I have to get out of the van and haul some box of bullshit up to the door when I can just drop a note in the letterbox or just drive on t’fuck and leave it back at the depot for them to collect?”

“I may not seem the type but I’ve thought about this pretty deeply. Basically if these langers can afford to be buying shite on the internet then they can afford to take the morning off to drive five miles to the depot and queue up like cattle at a milking parlour. Why should I deliver it right to their door? They can fuck off and collect it from the depot. Lazy pricks.”

Jason’s dream job is to work for An Post.

 

 
Clonakilty to Be CompletelyPowered By Stag Parties by 2019

Clonakilty to Be CompletelyPowered By Stag Parties by 2019

Sustainable energy supporters have got a major boost after Clonakilty revealed that it will become the first town in Ireland to be powered entirely by stag and hen parties.

Read More

Single Woman About to Issue Patronising ‘Common Sense’ Advice to Parent Friend

Single Woman About to Issue Patronising ‘Common Sense’ Advice to Parent Friend

A idiot has decided to make a badly timed intervention to “help” her friend and mother of three young children to be a better parent....

Read More

Politician Caught Dealing Ounce of Decency

Politician Caught Dealing Ounce of Decency

PROC can exclusively reveal that a senior Cork politician was recently arrested by Gardaí having been found in possession of an ounce of decency with intent to supply...

Read More

March 2017 - Cork Gig Preview

March 2017 - Cork Gig Preview

The Riptide Movement, August Wells, Marc Copeland, Warsaw Radio, Marlene Enright, Usher's Island at St. Lukes and Gig na Gaelainne at city Hall...

Read More

Outrage as 82 Restaurants in the McKenna’s Top 100 Not in Cork

Outrage as 82 Restaurants in the McKenna’s Top 100 Not in Cork

Food guide fail. Every Cork person knows that ALL of the country’s best restaurants are in Cork.

Read More

 
 

Advertising