Avoiding Insurance 1

Posted on Apr 3, 2003 in Osama Bin Murphy

 
 

(translated to comprehensible English by Mickey The Bags)

With Irish insurance companies now forcing the ordinary young Corkman to take out mortgages to pay their motor insurance PRC has a few practical suggestions to bypass the horendous burden of being a young driver.

The key to the PRC strategy is to get hold of a low cost uninsurable vehicle that will cost very little to maintain and while the power you will have at your disposal will be slightly reduced the benefits to both your health and your pocket will be phenomenal.



1. A Set of Wheels
Literally just that. Make sure you chose a vehicle which does not have to be registered for insurance. A trip down memory lane and a quick lamp in the attic will sort most people who were babies when they were young.

2. Durable Waterproofs
Always wide for a shower of rain or a thunder storm. Gear like this will help you survive Irish road conditions as well as reflective strips to let you be seen at night.

3. Bin Murphy Dust Mask
You will be subjected to a lot of gank as you traverse the roadways close to the ground. Citizens near the Limerick border should take precautions for sporadic chemical attacks.

4. Jumpleads
As you will be spending a lot of time in the hard shoulder there is a huge chance you might bump into a fla who has engine trouble.
Hopefully the battery won't be the only thing getting a jolt when you impress her by coming to her rescue with these little fellas.

5. Shades
You will be travelling at speeds as high as 4mph therefore it is important to keep wind out of your eyes to remain focused on piloting your vehicle to its destination.

6. Gamy pair of old runners
Not the place for a pair of spangly new Air Max as you will be using your feet as brakes as well as providing much needed propulsion. 
Although you will lose some credibility in certain areas of the city buying a new posh and spangly pair before each trip will cost you more than the insurance on a car with an engine.

7. Real and genuine danger
Always stay wide and take a sconse over your shoulder at least every quarter of an hour. Use the hard shoulder where possible to avoid angry motorists queing up behind you. Having some feen up your ass using his horn is not most Cork men's idea of a good time.

8. Headphones
Probably the biggest drawback of this vehicle is the lack of a built in sound system (currently not available as standard in this vehicle).
 

 

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